You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
