I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
