butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
