Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
