Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
