I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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