That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
