Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
His nipple licking is glorious
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