I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
