But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
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