My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
