this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I am naked and annoyed.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
