we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
