In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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