i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
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