He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
