A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
