There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
