Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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