Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I'm having to shit out rocks
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
