I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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