Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
