we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
