Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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