I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
