Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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