After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
