So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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