called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
