Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize