she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize