Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
