Cold hands, warm shart.
Me too!
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
