Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
