Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
