porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
