its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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