I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Randomize
