He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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