Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
