the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
