my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
