you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
We talked him into tasing himself.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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