I can tuck mytits in my pants
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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