we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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