Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
