Swine flu is the new snow day.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Randomize
