David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
