I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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