she takes plan B like it's going out of style
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
