i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
