i barfeds in our rink
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
