You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
