Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
