party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Let's paint friendship bongs
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Randomize
