watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
