): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
