i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
