What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
