You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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