Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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