if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
