Welp...herpes.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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